It’s well know by many of us that happiness is created by our minds inside, and not by external circumstances or things.
As we all wake up to a new day, many of us expect everything will go ok, and everyone is nice so our day will go smooth and then we’ll be happy… at least for a day.
But if we hope for the best, those circumstances will happen day after day and then we wil have a reason to be happy.
The reality can be different, yes you can add here that sound that is added in the movies to help us to stop that feeling, and face in one second to the hard reality.
Most days you and me will face many things that will hold us back to meet a happiness moment, why? The answer can be simple, because we all are looking on the wrong place to find happiness.
We look to find happiness outside of each one of us, our happiness will depend on:
- How beautiful is the weather today.
- How nice are the people around you.
- How good and nice is the work you need to do today.
- How well behaved are your kids.
- How much money you have to pay for all those bills today, and you will have even more money to buy you a couple of nice things.
- This list could go on and on, you can write all those things you expect to happen today so you can be happy.
Everyday you will face many things that can stop you to find happiness for that particular day, we all have had living with that believe in our minds.
Today, you can stop and take a moment to think about life, and how it will bring you different kinds of moments, from the happiest to the more challenging moments, where you’ll need to face many different circumstances to get your life back to normal.
And that is the life we all need to face day by day, in order to build up a happy life you need to start working on creating better circumstances for you, not outside of you, where everything depends from many things and many people around you.
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1 Focus on what you don’t have.
How many times we all use to get focused on what we don’t have or own?
- When I move to a bigger house I’ll be happy.
- When I get rid of 20 pounds I’ll be happy
- When I get a bigger bank account, then I can be happy.
- When I go for vacations, then I’ll be happy
- When I can buy expensive clothing I’ll be happy
All those thoughts in our minds can create a feeling of sadness, lack off, and high level of frustration every single day of our life.
Why not to stop doing negative things, and change for a better happier habits, and focus on what you have instead of what you don’t have.
- You have a house (rented or own), it might not be the one you dream of to have, but today you have it and with work and making good decisions it can get better.
- You have a job – hey, it might not be the best job in the world, but you can pay all the bills, and it’s a start.
- You have clothing to wear – Yes I know, everyone wish for nice clothing (even me) but it can get better.
By working on a list on your Bullet Journal about all things you have already in your life, you can see how lucky you are already and everything can be better if you’re willing to work for more or to change things for the better.
By getting the habit of focusing on what we already have, we can create an atmosphere of abundance and everything will feel better.
Have you been working on the Gratitude journal already, if not, you can start working on it at any moment, you can read this post here. By doing that, it will help you to get focused on everything nice you already have in your life.
2. Stop being the victim.
Yes it’s true, life can be filled by hard moments and all kind of obstructions, but if you keep focused on those bad moments all the time, and you start talking and complaining all the time about those hard moments in your life, you can get used to being the victim of your own life.
By getting used to being the victim of your own life, you can end up believing you’re really are a victim of your own life and you have your hands tied to do anything different in your life.
If you have lived under these circumstances for a period of time, you can’t believe your life can change anytime to a better circumstances.
And it’s true, you have the opportunity to work on those hard moments in your life as they get in it, but as soon as you solve out one hard moment or problem you can go back to work on creating the life you always wish to have.
You and me, we all have the opportunity to work to build up the life we wish we could have, don’t let anything to stop you to create it.
3. Live in the past.
When you keep thinking in the past and mostly thinking about bad things that happened to you, you don’t allow yourself to live in the present, and work on building a better life for yourself.
As you keep thinking on things that already happened and brought you some “unhappy moments” as they are already in the past you can’t do anything about that to change those situations, to be not only unhappy moments but you wish they would never have happened, what happened in the past you can’t change it anymore and by thinking all the time about those moments stops you to keep focused on the present, and do your best to change those moments for better ones.
You, me, and everyone has the power to create anything that we wish for, and that moment is “the present” by working to create better situations in life, we can work to build up a better life for ourselves and for our families, so why to keep our minds all the time in the past?
If you find your mind stuck in the past, you can bring it to the present and focus on what is working good and work on those things that are not working good, to change them to create a better enviroment for you and everyone you love.
The here and now are the most precious moments you have to change those habits to create a better life.
If you notice something that is not working good for you right now, why not to open your Bullet Journal and write about it, write everything you notice about it right now, later you can write what you can do to change that situation and create a better situation, to create a better life for yourself.
4. Stop trying to make everyone happy about what you do.
Have you noticed that you’ve been trying to make everyone happy about what you do, you might want to get everyones approval on things you do everyday, your work, yourself, your family, your free time and everything you do.
You might know by now you can’t make everyone happy all the time, and by trying to do this you might get upset very often as many people won’t be happy about things you do, or about how you live your own life.
Stop doing this, as you already know this is one of the hardest things to do and it will only bring you some unhappy moments for you, and at the end it will bring a lot of unhappiness to you.
5. Check out on your circle of friends.
I know this is going to sound very hard, but it’s said that everyone is the reflex of the 5 people we use to hang out with.
Do your closer friends used to live unhappy?
Do they do the 4 previous points?
It’s hard to work to make a better life when you hear all the time from your closer friends bad stuff all the time, stuff that stops them to achieve better in life and be happier.
If you spend most of your time with those five people and how their lives are filled with lots of problems and bad moments you might end up thinking the same way, and creating the same life for your self.
I don’t want to be hard on this point as sometimes we all need to live around these kinds of people, but in this case you can do something about it.
If you have to live with these people that do not help you to create a better life for yourself because they are part of your family, or just because you won’t give your back to them.
You can also work on creating a better life even if you don’t stop seeing and living around them, you can do a lot to start changing your life like:
- Read books about how to live a better life.
- Watch some videos from people who were there and they did some changes to live better.
- Get inspired from people who already did it.
Remember we all are product of our actions, thoughts, believes and decisions.
If you want to start to become happy you need to work on it, by changing your thoughts, habits, believes, actions and decisions you can create the life you want to live.
Work on your Bullet Journal or your personal planner and everyday write on it, highlight things that work better for you and write also about things that stop you from being happier, find the motive why they don’t work, by doing this you’ll help your mind to know the reasons and you will give more power to your mind to stop doing that over and over again.
Focus on what works better for you, create new habits that will help you to achieve the life you want to build up for yourself, and keep at it.
I thank you for making the time to stop and read my blog, remember your Bullet Journal or your personal planner are two tools to work on to help you to create a better life.
Five or ten minutes to start working on creating new habits and thoughts will help you to make big changes in your life.
6 thoughts on “5 Things To Stop Doing To Be Happy”
I remember using the Stephen Covey…7 habits planners back in the day. They were a very valuable tool. Thank you for the information on the new generation of organizing and planning tools.
Thanks for your article Alejandra.
You speak the truth! Often time its as simple as what our mind is focused on. Because our thoughts, then become beliefs and then affect our emotions and mood.
Thanks for the reminder I’m going to focus on what I have as opposed to what I don’t have. If not you don’t live in the moment and you are always living for the next moment. And once you get there, you’ll be looking to the next moment again!
Great aritcle with great advice. I especially like your number 1 – focus on what you don’t have. The truth is you will never have what you want. When you get the thing you wanted you’ll want something else. Instead of focusing on what you don’t have rather focus on what you do. Thanks for the great pointers.
Thanks for your visit and your comment, I’m glad you found this article helpful, yes as we tend to focus on things that we don’t have already and wish we could have can drive us to feel really bad an unhappy most of the time.
When we start looking around us, it’s often we can discover how many good things we already have but never pay attention to them. By doing this we can see how lucky we are and this can bring more happiness into our lives, when we are and feel happy many good things start happening.
I cannot agree enough with all of these points.
There are so many times in life where I have been guilty of all of these, especially the first one. Even now, I still sort of fall into the thought of thinking I’ll be happy when I get “x” in the future.
But like you said, focusing on what I don’t have means I neglect being happy about what I do have. Sometimes it’s all about the little things in life what matters, not the big house or fancy cars.
Thanks for the reminders on what to stop doing in order to be happy. I need to remind myself of these tips more often.
Thanks so much Kashia for taking the time to read my blog and write a comment.
I’m glad you liked this article and you find it helpful, I must say I was living paying more attention on what I didn’t have until a good friend told me about stop doing it.
It’s true most people do it but never realize we should do the opposite, paying attention on what we already have and live happy with it, and work for what we want to change or achieve, life then can be easier and happier.